Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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