So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
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He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize