this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
