My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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