So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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