i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.