I want you more than these girls want KFC
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.