Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me