i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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