it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend