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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia

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• (206): View more from Washington

  puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  i came on her dog

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• (561): View more from Florida

  he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.

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• 

  19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island

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• (760): View more from California

  If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.

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