Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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