i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Hippo gnu deer
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
