Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish I only lived at night.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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