new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
