but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
