i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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