dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
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Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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