I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
