im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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