You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
