i jhust puked up my retainher.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
