Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
