there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
