If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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