All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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