i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize