The beer is more important than you right now.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
