The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
