pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
