he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
