Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
