Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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