This is not my ceiling
I want to make a zoo with you.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
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so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
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Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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