Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
