WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize