i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
