Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
