the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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