if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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