week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
