It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
