He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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