i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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