my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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