People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
