real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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