what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
