Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
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