Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
