Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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