Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
