you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
