i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
