i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
