I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Non-Jews are for practice
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
