just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize