Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
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Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
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had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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