Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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